Family!
May 10, 2006
Its good to be back in Melbourne, I love catching up with friends and family and there's nothing like a good family dinner to get the laughter juices flowing.
My mother is the youngest of eight children from, shall we say, a modest upbringing... ehh... actually they were quite poor.... no... lets just say it like it is, they were extremely poor... BUT! they had a wonderful sense of family and they passed it on to their children.
I grew up with my cousins, we went to school together, we danced together, we hung out together.
Every weekend we spent quality time at our aunties and uncles homes. We never went out for dinner, we never went to the movies, we had good old fashioned fun in the homes of the ones we loved. Looking back, it sounds so strange, but we loved it and with over 70 cousins to pick from, our best friends were our family.
So coming home to Melbourne represents a time for seeing the family and there's nothing like the familiar friendship of someone you have known all your life. When someone has known you all your life, they know you before any of the environmental stuff kicked in. They knew you before you were good or bad at school, they knew you before you were successful and rich (or poor and in prison :-) they knew you before you became a stressed out parent working two jobs. They just knew you, the raw you and they grew to like you.
There's something so wonderful about knowing the real person, its like seeing right through to their soul, beneath all the clutter, beneath who they think they are, or who they may mistakenly have become. The history of family is lifelong and therefore the stories and laughter have a maturity about them.
My family know all my dirty secrets, they know all my bad habits and they know all my ways to avoid exposing my secrets and bad habits. They also know my talents, my passions and my desires. One of the best things about my family is they see my talents before I do and they are quick to point out the positive parts of my personality. It makes being around them a happy, warm occasion, filled with vibrant chatter and belly aching laughter.
My family love to chat and laugh. They can sit for hours telling the same stories I have heard throughout my life, but they are still funny and we all love to hear them, again and again and again. Everyone has a turn, someone remembers something about everyone and no-one is spared. New people are welcomed to our family but they must possess a few vital traits, they must enjoy laughing, they must be non-judgemental and they must be able to laugh at themselves. Oh and they must be able to conduct several conversations at the same time.
When Paul and I returned to Melbourne we arranged a quiet dinner at a local restaurant in the south east suburbs of Melbourne. Our family arrived in staggered lots, 2, then 4, then another 2 etc, but no fuss was made, you are welcome when you can get there, no pressure in this environment.
The laughter I have with my family is like no other laughter I have ever experienced. It comes from deep in my belly and it rises up into my chest, it resonates there for a while as it builds up volume in my throat. My body seems to just take on a presence of its own when I laugh with my family, sometimes the laughter is so strong I cant breathe and my stomach starts to cramp from lack of oxygen. Its at that point my cousins start laughing at my laughter and this sets off a wave of laughter that relates to nothing, just laughing at laughter itself. And its at that precise moment we meet each others eyes and we know we are laughing at nothing and that makes us laugh even more. Sometimes when I am laughing with my cousins, we laugh so much that my eyes water constantly, my face turns red and I am buckled over with pain. But we keep laughing.
The power of our laughter is so strong that I compare it to the concept of dog years. You know how one dog year is worth seven human years and a dog that is 10 years old on this planet is really 70 in its dogs world? Well laughing with my family is like dog years, only one laugh with my family is worth 20 laughs from a stranger.
Now dont get me wrong, I love meeting new people and laughing with them, but the history, the knowledge of the right buttons to push... that all happens so seamlessly with my family. Despite the enormous amount of physical activity that happens when we laugh, I feel so relaxed in their presence, so rejuvenated and so energised. Our laughter is like food for the soul, it replenishes even the most sad and weary, if you let it.
Sometimes when we arrange family events, one or two people cant make it, for various reasons that are perfectly normal... but I wish I could say to them... there is something really special about our family, we have seen so much, we have been through so much together, we know each other like no-body else and we so rarely catch up like this... I wish I could remind them of the laughter we share and how it makes us feel. I wish I could show them how nourishing it is to sit in the presence of people who love you no matter what.
I make any excuse to catch up with my family and always, always try to make every family engagement there is. Families are so special, you never know when you will catch up again and you never know who will be missing the next time you do
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